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Yeah. When you want what's real and you try to find that in high school, you might as well be looking for a mossy rock beside a babbling brook on the corner of Sixth and Pine in downtown Seattle.

Deb Caletti

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Deb Caletti
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: June 16
Novelist
Writer
San Rafael
California
Looking
Brooks
School
Beside
Mossy
Find
Corner
Babbling
Wells
Corners
Brook
Might
Rock
Pine
Well
Yeah
Sixth
Real
Rocks
Downtown
Trying
High
Seattle

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Darkness does this. It finds all the places you are hiding in. It finds all the things you are holding onto tightly and makes you let go.
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The favorite game of temperamental people is Try to Guess Why I’m Ticked Off. (Contestant number one, Why do YOU think he’s pissed off? Why, I’m not sure, Bob, but I’m going to go with ‘Because I Left the Faucet Dripping.’ BEEP. I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. The correct answer is: ‘Because You Happen to Exist.’)
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I didn't walk over and talk to him, though, not then. If I needed the time for a tree branch to become just a tree branch again and the wind to become just the wind, then a boy, most of all, needed some time to be only a boy.
Deb Caletti
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You were a stone wall, a fort in high, unreachable trees, an island, my own island, that no boat could reach.
Deb Caletti
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You've got to have someone who loves your body. Who doesn't define you, but sees you. Who loves what he sees. Who you don't have to struggle to be good enough for.
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I finally learned that it was all right to say something wasn’t working for me when it wasn’t working. The world doesn’t come crashing down when you speak the truth.
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I was like a chocolate in a box, looking well behaved and perfect in place, all the while harboring a secret center.
Deb Caletti
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And pity--people who inspire it in you are actually very powerful people. To get someone else to take care of you, to feel sorry for you--that takes a lot of strength, smarts, manipulation. Very powerful people.
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Supposedly there's an actual, researched link between extreme creativity and mental illness, and I believe it because I've seen it with my own eyes.
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Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always.
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There are so many different fifteens. And eighteens. And forty-twos, for that matter. Mature fifteens and young fifteens and wise fifteens and lost fifteens. And angry fifteens.
Deb Caletti
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Love seems to be something to approach with caution, as if you'd come across a wrapped box in the middle of the street and have no idea what it contains.
Deb Caletti
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Becoming a YA author was actually a very lucky accident. When I wrote the Queen of Everything, I thought it was a book for adults.
Deb Caletti
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I vow... to not let the back & forth of forgiveness interrupt the steadiness of love.
Deb Caletti
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I shouldn't have to be a liar to make someone love me. I shouldn't be so afraid of losing someone that I'll do anything to make them stay.
Deb Caletti
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...forever is hard enough without it beginning now.
Deb Caletti
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I thought I might cry, the way you do when someone gives you some kindness when you most need it but when it seems the most surprising thing.
Deb Caletti
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It's hard to see clearly when your eyes are squinched tight out of fear.
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Rejection, though--it could make the loss of someone you weren't even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.
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Most of our parents wanted the best for us, I knew, but we also wanted the best for them.
Deb Caletti