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I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

Dean Martin

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Dean Martin
Age: 78 †
Born: 1917
Born: June 7
Died: 1995
Died: December 25
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Manufacturer
Musician
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Steubenville
Ohio
Dino Paul Crocetti
Dino Martini
Last
Complaints
Night
Missed
Floor
Fell
Complaining
Drunk
Drinking
Lasts

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It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'
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In order to share intimate feelings, you have to have intimate feelings.
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When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
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I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.
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Your lips and mine, two sips of wine, memories are made of this.
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When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.
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The world is the same you never change it, as sure as the stars shine above. Well, you're nobody til somebody loves you, so find yourself somebody to love.
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I know it's the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I'm no gentleman.
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The thing I notice first about a woman is her walk. A beautiful woman is like a race horse-slim, sleek and with a beautiful carriage.
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Motivation is a lotta crap.
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Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.
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I don't drink anymore... I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle.
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I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant.'
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The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.
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Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key.
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If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful.
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Return to me, for my heart wants you only. Hurry home, hurry home, won't you please hurry home to my heart.
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Everybody makes mistakes look at Hitler.
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I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!
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In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody.
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