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The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.

David Wong

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David Wong
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: January 10
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Hammond
Indiana
Jason Pargin
Flew
Phrase
Phrases
Suddenly
Mind

More quotes by David Wong

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Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most scared of their dark side. Always going too far the other way, fighting for the Lord, often just because it gives them an excuse to fight.
David Wong
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The things we call cultures are dynamic, internally diverse, and their interpretation is internally contested among its members. Cultures are like ongoing conversations with many voices, often telling stories about who we are.
David Wong
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When a man plans, a woman laughs.
David Wong
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Start working on whatever you hesitate Because there is an ending to every beginning. When you make it to the end, You will realize the hesitation was a waste of time.
David Wong
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I am sympathetic to the general form of Aristotle's view: the exercise of complex and more inclusive abilities is not anything in itself that is or necessarily should be valued over simple and less inclusive abilities. Rather, value depends on what the abilities are and the ends to which they are put.
David Wong
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Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't?
David Wong
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Falling in love with a house or a car or a pair of shoes, it was a dead end. You save your love for the things that can love you back.
David Wong
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That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.
David Wong
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The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean. Who's- Because you're gay.
David Wong
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All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you'll die, and you'll probably be alone.
David Wong
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Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing.
David Wong
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I think that all moralities adequately serving the function of fostering social cooperation must contain a norm of reciprocity - a norm of returning good for good received. Such a norm is a necessity, I argue, because it helps relieve the strains on motivation of contributing to social cooperation when it comes into conflict with self-interest.
David Wong
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Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.
David Wong
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They came looking for dark and terrible revelations and instead found out something even more dark and terrible: that their lives were trite and boring.
David Wong
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John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.
David Wong
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Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.
David Wong
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There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?
David Wong
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Antidepressants. The thought of this girl actually being depressed made me want to grab the whole planet and throw it into the sun. Well, more than usual anyway.
David Wong
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Here’s exclusive Channel 5 video of a local man having his brain eaten by a winged gremlin. Local gremlin experts warn that—
David Wong
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Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.
David Wong