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The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.

David Wong

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David Wong
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: January 10
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Hammond
Indiana
Jason Pargin
Suddenly
Mind
Flew
Phrase
Phrases

More quotes by David Wong

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My melon soul Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy
David Wong
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When a man plans, a woman laughs.
David Wong
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Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.
David Wong
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I am sympathetic to the general form of Aristotle's view: the exercise of complex and more inclusive abilities is not anything in itself that is or necessarily should be valued over simple and less inclusive abilities. Rather, value depends on what the abilities are and the ends to which they are put.
David Wong
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There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?
David Wong
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Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.
David Wong
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If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard?
David Wong
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Falling in love with a house or a car or a pair of shoes, it was a dead end. You save your love for the things that can love you back.
David Wong
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War is about remaking the world to suit the whims of some powerful group over the whims of some other powerful group. The dead are just the sparks that fly from the metal as they grind it down.
David Wong
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All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you'll die, and you'll probably be alone.
David Wong
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Start working on whatever you hesitate Because there is an ending to every beginning. When you make it to the end, You will realize the hesitation was a waste of time.
David Wong
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Which would prove I'm a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people i love?
David Wong
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Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most scared of their dark side. Always going too far the other way, fighting for the Lord, often just because it gives them an excuse to fight.
David Wong
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That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.
David Wong
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The things we call cultures are dynamic, internally diverse, and their interpretation is internally contested among its members. Cultures are like ongoing conversations with many voices, often telling stories about who we are.
David Wong
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Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't?
David Wong
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John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.
David Wong
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Kittens will make your sad go away
David Wong
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In a morally healthy family the good of each member of a family includes and overlaps with the good of other members. When one family member flourishes, so typically do the others.
David Wong
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Accommodation is a willingness to maintain constructive relationship with others with whom one is in serious and even intractable disagreement. Social cooperation would come under impossible pressure if it always depended on strict agreement.
David Wong