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When a man plans, a woman laughs.

David Wong

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David Wong
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: January 10
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Hammond
Indiana
Jason Pargin
Laughs
Plans
Laughing
Woman
Men

More quotes by David Wong

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Accommodation is a willingness to maintain constructive relationship with others with whom one is in serious and even intractable disagreement. Social cooperation would come under impossible pressure if it always depended on strict agreement.
David Wong
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Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.
David Wong
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To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.
David Wong
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John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.
David Wong
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Kittens will make your sad go away
David Wong
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I think that all moralities adequately serving the function of fostering social cooperation must contain a norm of reciprocity - a norm of returning good for good received. Such a norm is a necessity, I argue, because it helps relieve the strains on motivation of contributing to social cooperation when it comes into conflict with self-interest.
David Wong
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All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you'll die, and you'll probably be alone.
David Wong
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I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb, let my tears and dripping saliva pool under me. Sorry. I tried living, tried being sentient. Can't do it. Can't live in the same universe with that.
David Wong
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If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard?
David Wong
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That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.
David Wong
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Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most scared of their dark side. Always going too far the other way, fighting for the Lord, often just because it gives them an excuse to fight.
David Wong
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Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing.
David Wong
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The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.
David Wong
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Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.
David Wong
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Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt. If you already happen to know the awful secret behind the universe, feel free to skip ahead.
David Wong
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There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?
David Wong
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Here’s exclusive Channel 5 video of a local man having his brain eaten by a winged gremlin. Local gremlin experts warn that—
David Wong
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Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't?
David Wong
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They came looking for dark and terrible revelations and instead found out something even more dark and terrible: that their lives were trite and boring.
David Wong
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Antidepressants. The thought of this girl actually being depressed made me want to grab the whole planet and throw it into the sun. Well, more than usual anyway.
David Wong