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I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb, let my tears and dripping saliva pool under me. Sorry. I tried living, tried being sentient. Can't do it. Can't live in the same universe with that.
David Wong
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David Wong
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: January 10
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Hammond
Indiana
Jason Pargin
Live
Sorry
Curl
Tried
Sucking
Tears
Sentient
Position
Dripping
Start
Curls
Universe
Thumb
Living
Thumbs
Fetal
Wanted
Pool
Saliva
More quotes by David Wong
Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt. If you already happen to know the awful secret behind the universe, feel free to skip ahead.
David Wong
My melon soul Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy
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No, I don't, like, play an instrument or anything.I'm just...well, you saw me at the beginning there. I was the guy that fell down and died.
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Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.
David Wong
Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.
David Wong
Here’s exclusive Channel 5 video of a local man having his brain eaten by a winged gremlin. Local gremlin experts warn that—
David Wong
Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't?
David Wong
You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud.
David Wong
The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean. Who's- Because you're gay.
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There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?
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That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.
David Wong
The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.
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To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.
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They came looking for dark and terrible revelations and instead found out something even more dark and terrible: that their lives were trite and boring.
David Wong
Antidepressants. The thought of this girl actually being depressed made me want to grab the whole planet and throw it into the sun. Well, more than usual anyway.
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Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most scared of their dark side. Always going too far the other way, fighting for the Lord, often just because it gives them an excuse to fight.
David Wong
I think that all moralities adequately serving the function of fostering social cooperation must contain a norm of reciprocity - a norm of returning good for good received. Such a norm is a necessity, I argue, because it helps relieve the strains on motivation of contributing to social cooperation when it comes into conflict with self-interest.
David Wong
Start working on whatever you hesitate Because there is an ending to every beginning. When you make it to the end, You will realize the hesitation was a waste of time.
David Wong
Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.
David Wong
Kittens will make your sad go away
David Wong