Quote

The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for.

David Walliams

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David Walliams
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 20
Actor
Author
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Banstead
Surrey
David Edward Williams
Food
Mixer
Least
Porridge
Morning
Equipment
Use
Cook
Used
Cooks
Every
Kitchen
Really
Piece
Never
Pieces

More quotes by David Walliams

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Children's books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I'm a children's writer myself.
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I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.
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I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.
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TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.
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I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it's over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth.
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I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.
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I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts.
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I think most people that do comedy write for themselves. I don't think there is any other way you can do it, really. Otherwise it would be quite cynical.
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I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer.
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We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.
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I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.
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When I was a child I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I loved losing myself in colourful and dramatic stories - and my absolute favourite was 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.' Everything about it electrified me, and when I re-read Roald Dahl's books as an adult it surprised me.
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There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.
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It's strange how sometimes you can be so happy it goes all the way round to sadness.
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It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland.
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I don't have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And I'm willing to risk quite a lot - as a comedian, you're always risking a lot. You're risking failure, especially if you're improvising and going on TV shows trying to make comedy out of thin air. That is quite a risky business.
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Sometimes you meet people who can't swim. And I always think: 'Oh my God, that's extraordinary.' For me, it's always been a treat I just feel really happy in the water.
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Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can't rely on thinking Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this sketch. You've got to try to work on the words.
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It's important when you're married not to forget those things you used to do when you were trying to get her to marry you. You can't send flowers and buy gifts then, when you're married, say, 'Right, get my tea on'. That doesn't go down well. So you've got to keep that level of interest going.
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It was very exciting to see Alan Sugar, so I think I've peaked with excitement for the evening, because I'm a massive Apprentice fan.
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