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No more watching that show Small England or whatever it's called where those two idiots dress up as 'laydees'. It's a bad influence.

David Walliams

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David Walliams
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 20
Actor
Author
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Banstead
Surrey
David Edward Williams
Dresses
Shows
Two
Watching
England
Influence
Called
Idiots
Small
Idiot
Whatever
Dress
Show

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I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.
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Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can't rely on thinking Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this sketch. You've got to try to work on the words.
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Definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with women with a man.
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It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland.
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Children's books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I'm a children's writer myself.
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When I was a child I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I loved losing myself in colourful and dramatic stories - and my absolute favourite was 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.' Everything about it electrified me, and when I re-read Roald Dahl's books as an adult it surprised me.
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I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck.
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I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.
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I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.
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There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.
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There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process.
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I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.
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We've got 12-year-old boys dressing up as transvestites.
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I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it.
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Sometimes you meet people who can't swim. And I always think: 'Oh my God, that's extraordinary.' For me, it's always been a treat I just feel really happy in the water.
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I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it's over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth.
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The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for.
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I've done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you're recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with 'Britain's Got Talent,' you're on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching - and in between you're being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch.
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We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.
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