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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Jokes
Laugh
Laughing
Makes
Slipping
Joke
Scared
More quotes by David Spade
With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
David Spade
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
David Spade
My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
David Spade
I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
David Spade
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
David Spade
I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
David Spade
As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
David Spade
Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
David Spade
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
David Spade
Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
David Spade
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
David Spade
I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
David Spade
I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
David Spade
Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
David Spade
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
David Spade
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
David Spade
I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
David Spade
I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
David Spade
