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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Years
Hot
Really
Dirty
Make
Sexy
Time
Early
Place
Kids
Look
Looks
More quotes by David Spade
Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
David Spade