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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Father
Tell
Something
Time
Buddy
Like
Dad
Talk
Happy
Use

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I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
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I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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It's hard to have a career.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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