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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Language
Squares
Littles
Miracles
Little
Plus
Country
Seriously
English
Miracle
Shapes
Geometry
Nice
Square
More quotes by David Spade
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
David Spade
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
David Spade
I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
David Spade
I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
David Spade
My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
David Spade
With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
David Spade
I never dated much in high school or college.
David Spade
Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade