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Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Opportunities
Less
Opportunity

More quotes by David Spade

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I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
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It's funny because it's funny.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
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If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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It's hard to have a career.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
David Spade