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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Retire
Nerd
Retiring
Fellow
Fellows
Calculators
Nerds
More quotes by David Spade
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
David Spade
I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
David Spade
I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
David Spade
When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
David Spade
I never dated much in high school or college.
David Spade
My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
David Spade
I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
David Spade
Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
David Spade
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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I have no detectable hair style.
David Spade
Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
David Spade
Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
David Spade
If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
David Spade