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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Figure
Figures
Smart
Watches
Watch
Shows
Enough

More quotes by David Spade

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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
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I have no detectable hair style.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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It's hard to have a career.
David Spade