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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Watch
Shows
Enough
Figure
Figures
Smart
Watches

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It's funny because it's funny.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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I have no detectable hair style.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
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It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
David Spade