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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Watch
Shows
Enough
Figure
Figures
Smart
Watches

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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
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I have no detectable hair style.
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It's funny because it's funny.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
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If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
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