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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Enough
Figure
Figures
Smart
Watches
Watch
Shows

More quotes by David Spade

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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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It's funny because it's funny.
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
David Spade