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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Watch
Shows
Enough
Figure
Figures
Smart
Watches

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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
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It's so crazy in Hollywood.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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It's hard to have a career.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
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I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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