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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Enough
Figure
Figures
Smart
Watches
Watch
Shows

More quotes by David Spade

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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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It's funny because it's funny.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
David Spade
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
David Spade
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
David Spade
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I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
David Spade
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It's hard to have a career.
David Spade
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
David Spade
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It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
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People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
David Spade
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If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
David Spade
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I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
David Spade
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
David Spade
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
David Spade