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I never dated much in high school or college.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Never
Dated
College
High
School
Much

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I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
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It's funny because it's funny.
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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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