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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Sitcom
Stand

More quotes by David Spade

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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
David Spade
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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It's hard to have a career.
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
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I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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I have no detectable hair style.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
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Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
David Spade
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
David Spade
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People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
David Spade
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
David Spade
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
David Spade
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
David Spade
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
David Spade