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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Sitcom
Stand

More quotes by David Spade

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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
David Spade
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade