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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Sitcom
Stand

More quotes by David Spade

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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
David Spade
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Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
David Spade
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Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
David Spade
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It's hard to have a career.
David Spade
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
David Spade
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
David Spade
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
David Spade
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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
David Spade
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
David Spade
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It's so crazy in Hollywood.
David Spade
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
David Spade
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
David Spade
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
David Spade
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It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
David Spade
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
David Spade
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
David Spade
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Single guys get a bad rap.
David Spade
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
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I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
David Spade