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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Sitcom
Stand

More quotes by David Spade

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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
David Spade
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
David Spade
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
David Spade
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I have no detectable hair style.
David Spade
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It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
David Spade
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade
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I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
David Spade
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
David Spade
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
David Spade
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I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
David Spade
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It's funny because it's funny.
David Spade
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
David Spade
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
David Spade
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
David Spade
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
David Spade
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
David Spade
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I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.
David Spade
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It's so crazy in Hollywood.
David Spade