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It's funny because it's funny.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Funny
More quotes by David Spade
When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
David Spade
I never dated much in high school or college.
David Spade
Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
David Spade
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
David Spade
I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
David Spade
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
David Spade
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
David Spade
I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
David Spade
Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade
It's so crazy in Hollywood.
David Spade
It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
David Spade
People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
David Spade
If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
David Spade
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
David Spade
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
David Spade
As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
David Spade
I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
David Spade
Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
David Spade