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It's funny because it's funny.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Funny
More quotes by David Spade
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
David Spade
If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
David Spade
Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
David Spade
People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
David Spade
I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
David Spade
Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
David Spade
My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
David Spade
Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade
Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
David Spade
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
David Spade
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
David Spade
Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
David Spade
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
David Spade
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
David Spade
I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
David Spade
I never dated much in high school or college.
David Spade
As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
David Spade
It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
David Spade