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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Civilians
Sell
Sells
Relationships
Wants
Hear
Stories
More quotes by David Spade
It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
David Spade
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
David Spade
I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
David Spade
I have no detectable hair style.
David Spade
I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
David Spade
I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
David Spade
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
David Spade
As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
David Spade
Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
David Spade
Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
David Spade
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
David Spade
There's always something funny about men chasing women.
David Spade
It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
David Spade
I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
David Spade
Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
David Spade
With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
David Spade
Single guys get a bad rap.
David Spade
I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
David Spade
To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
David Spade
It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
David Spade
