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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Relationships
Wants
Hear
Stories
Civilians
Sell
Sells

More quotes by David Spade

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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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It's funny because it's funny.
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I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
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It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
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If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.
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Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
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I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.
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When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.
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It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.
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It's so crazy in Hollywood.
David Spade