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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
David Spade
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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Stories
Civilians
Sell
Sells
Relationships
Wants
Hear
More quotes by David Spade
Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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It's so crazy in Hollywood.
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I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
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My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.
David Spade
I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
David Spade
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
David Spade
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
David Spade
Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
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To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.
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It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.
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I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.
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My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.
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It's hard to have a career.
David Spade
Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.
David Spade
