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In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

David Spade

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David Spade
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: July 22
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Birmingham
Michigan
David Wayne Spade
Friends
Funny
Grade
Didn
Grades
School
Quit
Quitting
Smart
Started
High

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It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.
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I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.
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My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
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I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
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There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.
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Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.
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I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.
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Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.
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Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.
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I never dated much in high school or college.
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I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.
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Single guys get a bad rap.
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It's hard to have a career.
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Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.
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I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
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I have no detectable hair style.
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People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.
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With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.
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I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
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