Quote

Now I don't drink, and I get up in the morning and I write in my diary, and I can write in my diary for hours if I feel like it. And I'm still sober so I can write the stories that I'm working on, and I can sit at the desk as long as I need to. So that changed a lot, I think.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Still
Sober
Need
Drink
Feel
Changed
Writing
Morning
Long
Working
Think
Hours
Thinking
Write
Diary
Like
Stories
Desk

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
I gave my mother a matching set [of mugs] for Christmas, and she accepted them as graciously as possible, announcing that they would make the perfect pet bowls. The mugs were set on the kitchen floor and remained there until the cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike.
David Sedaris
Image
I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.
David Sedaris
Image
When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
David Sedaris
Image
Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love.
David Sedaris
Image
If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
David Sedaris
Image
No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
David Sedaris
Image
It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters.
David Sedaris
Image
If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.
David Sedaris
Image
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
David Sedaris
Image
... [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naïve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross.
David Sedaris
Image
I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.
David Sedaris
Image
It's safe to assume that by 2085 guns will be sold in vending machines but you won't be able to smoke anywhere in America.
David Sedaris
Image
The fake slap invariably makes contact, adding the elements of shock and betrayal to what had previously been plain old-fashioned fear.
David Sedaris
Image
I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
David Sedaris
Image
Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.
David Sedaris
Image
If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
David Sedaris
Image
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
David Sedaris
Image
Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have to hold on to. If you're really desperate, you might need to grope, saying, for example, I've never killed anyone with a hammer or I've never stolen from anyone who didn't deserve it.
David Sedaris
Image
You know, when you need drugs and you don't have a lot of money, what you'll do is you'll hang out with people who will give you drugs. Right?
David Sedaris
Image
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
David Sedaris