Quote

If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Always
Windows
Chair
Chairs
Attic
Stuck
Attics
Clean
Vacuums
Window
Vacuum
Done
Wash
Something
Bathroom

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.
David Sedaris
Image
If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
David Sedaris
Image
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
David Sedaris
Image
I sometimes read books on my iPad.
David Sedaris
Image
Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
David Sedaris
Image
whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.
David Sedaris
Image
Of course, the diary helps me as well. 'That wasn't your position on July 7, 1991,' I'll remind Hugh an hour after we've had a fight. I'd have loved to rebut him sooner, but it takes awhile to look these things up.
David Sedaris
Image
I'm glad that I didn't have the Internet when I started writing. I started writing when I was 20 and didn't show a word of it to anyone until I was 28. I had the sense to keep it to myself. Now the temptation with blogs and such, they're just getting it out there maybe it would have been best to keep it to themselves.
David Sedaris
Image
Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
David Sedaris
Image
We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
David Sedaris
Image
I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
David Sedaris
Image
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
Image
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
David Sedaris
Image
I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
David Sedaris
Image
There is a reason there is no such thing as a folk writer. But to be a writer you have learn what it takes to captivate a reader in order to make them turn the page. And in order to learn that, you have to read.
David Sedaris
Image
A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
David Sedaris
Image
It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.
David Sedaris
Image
If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
David Sedaris
Image
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
David Sedaris
Image
In Japanese and Italian, the response to [How are you?] is I'm fine, and you? In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by Not so good.
David Sedaris