Quote

I don't like travelling if I know I have to write about it.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Writing
Like
Travelling
Write

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks? Trains don't normally sneak up on people. Unless they've derailed, you pretty much know where to find them.
David Sedaris
Image
The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
David Sedaris
Image
Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing in fact, most often, it's just the opposite.
David Sedaris
Image
It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
David Sedaris
Image
There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.
David Sedaris
Image
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
David Sedaris
Image
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
David Sedaris
Image
Now I don't drink, and I get up in the morning and I write in my diary, and I can write in my diary for hours if I feel like it. And I'm still sober so I can write the stories that I'm working on, and I can sit at the desk as long as I need to. So that changed a lot, I think.
David Sedaris
Image
I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot of grief, but I'm pretty sure that after high school, this girl would have started anyway, especially if she chose the army over community college.
David Sedaris
Image
The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
David Sedaris
Image
If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.
David Sedaris
Image
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
David Sedaris
Image
A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.
David Sedaris
Image
I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life that I don't write about. If I need to write that stuff down, I write about myself in my diary.
David Sedaris
Image
In Japanese and Italian, the response to [How are you?] is I'm fine, and you? In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by Not so good.
David Sedaris
Image
The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
David Sedaris
Image
I would be writing and trying to write like Joan Didion. Or if I was reading Raymond Carver. You know, strong stylists. But that's how you find your voice, is imitating other people. So things like that didn't embarrass me, because I thought, well, that's how it goes. That's how everyone learns.
David Sedaris
Image
A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head and called it a night.
David Sedaris
Image
The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing someone else stopped me completely.
David Sedaris
Image
It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit but not that much. But some old white people, and there aren't even that many, they put bonnets on, and then they control the news.
David Sedaris