Quote

Most movies, I forget about them while I'm watching them. I go every single day. But I've never thought about participating in any way. It's like being at home all day. It was never a goal to me.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Thought
Home
Every
Participating
Way
Watching
Never
Single
Like
Movies
Goal
Forget

More quotes by David Sedaris

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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
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Perhaps the little Negro girl was holding a concealed razor blade. Maybe she was one of the troublemakers out for a fresh white scalp.
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If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
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Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
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I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.
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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.
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You really burden the reader if you put things in but, Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway. Then the reader's going to think, like, Mmm... no thanks. So the thing is to cut all that stuff out before its published.
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there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.
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A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
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You know, when you need drugs and you don't have a lot of money, what you'll do is you'll hang out with people who will give you drugs. Right?
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I always used to reach for the cigarette when the phone rang, and I figured nobody would ever call me in Tokyo. The time difference is so profound it's, like, already September in Tokyo, and I figured nobody would be able to work it out.
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
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I gave my mother a matching set [of mugs] for Christmas, and she accepted them as graciously as possible, announcing that they would make the perfect pet bowls. The mugs were set on the kitchen floor and remained there until the cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike.
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I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again, he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters
David Sedaris
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When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
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After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
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but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
David Sedaris
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High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.
David Sedaris