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Most movies, I forget about them while I'm watching them. I go every single day. But I've never thought about participating in any way. It's like being at home all day. It was never a goal to me.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
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Movies
Goal
Forget
Thought
Home
Every
Participating
Way
Watching
Never
Single
More quotes by David Sedaris
I gave my mother a matching set [of mugs] for Christmas, and she accepted them as graciously as possible, announcing that they would make the perfect pet bowls. The mugs were set on the kitchen floor and remained there until the cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike.
David Sedaris
I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry.
David Sedaris
The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
David Sedaris
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
David Sedaris
The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make your dress, and do the flowers and the catering. They've toiled in the wedding industry all these years but were never allowed to do it themselves.
David Sedaris
The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
David Sedaris
I sometimes read books on my iPad.
David Sedaris
I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you would have no idea what it is that I've actually ever done.
David Sedaris
I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
David Sedaris
Weird doors open. People fall into things.
David Sedaris
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
David Sedaris
It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters.
David Sedaris
The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
David Sedaris
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
David Sedaris
Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.
David Sedaris
Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.
David Sedaris
Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
David Sedaris
There is a reason there is no such thing as a folk writer. But to be a writer you have learn what it takes to captivate a reader in order to make them turn the page. And in order to learn that, you have to read.
David Sedaris
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
My sister's the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline...Everything is dangerous all of the time, and if it's not yet been pulled off the shelves, then it's certainly under investigation -- so there.
David Sedaris
