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I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Sure
Gone
Tweets
Understand
Tweet
Someone
Sending
Never
Twitter
Pretending
Goes
More quotes by David Sedaris
All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
David Sedaris
I've often lost faith in myself, I've never lost it in my family.
David Sedaris
but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
David Sedaris
I would be writing and trying to write like Joan Didion. Or if I was reading Raymond Carver. You know, strong stylists. But that's how you find your voice, is imitating other people. So things like that didn't embarrass me, because I thought, well, that's how it goes. That's how everyone learns.
David Sedaris
I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
David Sedaris
As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
David Sedaris
I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.
David Sedaris
I'm not afraid to write about madness. I always figure that whatever most embarrasses you is something that everyone can relate to, really...because we're just not that different. So if you think, 'Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I can't possibly talk about that,' and you write about it, the audience is gonna be like, 'that happened to me!
David Sedaris
I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry.
David Sedaris
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
David Sedaris
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
David Sedaris
If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
David Sedaris
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
David Sedaris
To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.
David Sedaris
I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
David Sedaris
You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.
David Sedaris
Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
David Sedaris
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
David Sedaris
there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.
David Sedaris
Whenever I write about my family, I start by getting my parent`s approval. I like to think I write about them with obvious affection. When it comes to the people I'm related to, I consider myself to be very lucky.
David Sedaris
