Quote

I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Someone
Laughs
Stories
Tells
Think
Dinner
Thinking
Laughing
People
Told
Story
True
Didn

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
David Sedaris
Image
I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.
David Sedaris
Image
Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have to hold on to. If you're really desperate, you might need to grope, saying, for example, I've never killed anyone with a hammer or I've never stolen from anyone who didn't deserve it.
David Sedaris
Image
I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call understanding is basically just fantasizing.
David Sedaris
Image
If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
David Sedaris
Image
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
Image
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
David Sedaris
Image
I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
David Sedaris
Image
Perhaps the little Negro girl was holding a concealed razor blade. Maybe she was one of the troublemakers out for a fresh white scalp.
David Sedaris
Image
We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
David Sedaris
Image
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
David Sedaris
Image
Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
David Sedaris
Image
When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
David Sedaris
Image
My sister's the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline...Everything is dangerous all of the time, and if it's not yet been pulled off the shelves, then it's certainly under investigation -- so there.
David Sedaris
Image
Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
David Sedaris
Image
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
David Sedaris
Image
All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started years before. I look back at things I wrote then and I'm so embarrassed - the writing seems so blocky and choppy to me and I wouldn't have wanted success any sooner because the writing was even worse.
David Sedaris
Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.
David Sedaris
Image
There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And I had broken up with somebody. And I was, you know, really upset and depressed. And so that was, you know, reasons to keep going.
David Sedaris
Image
God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He rewarding me? Did He actively watch me or take me for granted like a fish you don't notice until it's floating on the surface of the tank?
David Sedaris