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I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Uncomfortable
Calling
Okay
Writer
Started
Call
Felt
Like
Yorker
More quotes by David Sedaris
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
David Sedaris
Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.
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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.
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Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
David Sedaris
Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
David Sedaris
Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
David Sedaris
Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
David Sedaris
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
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Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
David Sedaris
The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
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I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
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To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
David Sedaris
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
David Sedaris
I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
David Sedaris
Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.
David Sedaris
When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
David Sedaris