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I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Uncomfortable
Calling
Okay
Writer
Started
Call
Felt
Like
Yorker

More quotes by David Sedaris

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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
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Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.
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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.
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Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
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Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
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Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
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Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
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They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
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Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
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The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
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I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
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To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
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If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
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I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
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Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.
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When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
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