Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.
David Sedaris
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Would
Maturity
Thinking
Reached
Comedian
Grown
Thoughts
Child
Funny
Adulthood
Children
Assumed
More quotes by David Sedaris
All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
David Sedaris
Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.
David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
David Sedaris
The good thing about being gay, though, I always believed, is that you didn't make anyone go to a wedding. Nobody wants to go to a wedding. Nobody. It kind of bothers me now that you have to go to gay weddings, too. I don't care. It's still a wedding. And I would give anybody double gifts if they would elope.
David Sedaris
I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.
David Sedaris
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
David Sedaris
It didn't seem fair to me that Jon Stewart's rally didn't get the same kind of attention that Glenn Beck's did. Why was Beck's seen as checking the thermometer of the country, and Jon Stewart just dismissed as a satirist?
David Sedaris
The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live.
David Sedaris
I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.
David Sedaris
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention
David Sedaris
I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you would have no idea what it is that I've actually ever done.
David Sedaris
Besides, if I wanted to hear people speaking wall-to-wall French, all I had to do was remove my headphones and participate in what is known as ‘real life,’ a concept as uninviting as a shampoo cocktail.
David Sedaris
Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
David Sedaris
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
David Sedaris
The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
David Sedaris
If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
David Sedaris
Hugh consoled me, saying, Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at. When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think.
David Sedaris
The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
David Sedaris
I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.
David Sedaris
