Quote

In Japanese and Italian, the response to [How are you?] is I'm fine, and you? In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by Not so good.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
German
Followed
Italian
Slight
Response
Pause
Fine
Pauses
Good
Sigh
Japanese
Answered

More quotes by David Sedaris

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Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.
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My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I didn't do, which only makes me look more suspect.
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All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started years before. I look back at things I wrote then and I'm so embarrassed - the writing seems so blocky and choppy to me and I wouldn't have wanted success any sooner because the writing was even worse.
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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.
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A history of listening to Top 40 radio had left me with a ridiculous and clichéd notion of love. I had never entertained the feeling myself but knew that it meant never having to say you're sorry. It was a many-splendored thing. Love was a rose and a hammer. Both blind and all-seeing, it made the world go round.
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Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
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If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.
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I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot of grief, but I'm pretty sure that after high school, this girl would have started anyway, especially if she chose the army over community college.
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Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
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Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
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People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
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My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
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I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
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A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
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I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
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