Quote

Of course, the diary helps me as well. 'That wasn't your position on July 7, 1991,' I'll remind Hugh an hour after we've had a fight. I'd have loved to rebut him sooner, but it takes awhile to look these things up.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Hour
Hugh
Hours
Fight
Diary
Fighting
Position
Awhile
Helping
Loved
Diaries
Look
Wasn
July
Wells
Takes
Remind
Well
Courses
Sooner
Looks
Helps
Rebut
Things
Course

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I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.
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I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.
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It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.
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Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing in fact, most often, it's just the opposite.
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The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing someone else stopped me completely.
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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I've maintained old friendships, like with people I knew in the nineteen-seventies, but have lost the knack for meeting new people. This has a lot to do with my writing schedule. I don't want to be disturbed, and the willingness to be disturbed is, I think, part of being a good friend.
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I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.
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The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin Tubby Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.
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I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.
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As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
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The good thing about being gay, though, I always believed, is that you didn't make anyone go to a wedding. Nobody wants to go to a wedding. Nobody. It kind of bothers me now that you have to go to gay weddings, too. I don't care. It's still a wedding. And I would give anybody double gifts if they would elope.
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Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
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but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
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I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.
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Weird doors open. People fall into things.
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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
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Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.
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