Quote

He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Life
Spit
Passed
Looked
Along
Face
Though
Faces
Way
Paused

More quotes by David Sedaris

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I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.
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But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
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What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
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I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry.
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It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.
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Perhaps the little Negro girl was holding a concealed razor blade. Maybe she was one of the troublemakers out for a fresh white scalp.
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This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.
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I see you that have a little swimming mouse
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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
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Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
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I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot of grief, but I'm pretty sure that after high school, this girl would have started anyway, especially if she chose the army over community college.
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The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
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But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.
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Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
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If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
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At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
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Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the understanding that, like Mom used to say, sooner or later something's gonna get you.
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I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again, he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters
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