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there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Boring
Reason
People
Regular
Appear

More quotes by David Sedaris

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The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
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Hugh consoled me, saying, Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at. When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think.
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I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.
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Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
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It was the look you get when facing a sudden and insurmountable danger: the errant truck, the shaky ladder, the crazy person who pins you to the linoleum and insists, with increasing urgency, that everything you know and love can be undone by a grape.
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If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
David Sedaris
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All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
David Sedaris
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I would be writing and trying to write like Joan Didion. Or if I was reading Raymond Carver. You know, strong stylists. But that's how you find your voice, is imitating other people. So things like that didn't embarrass me, because I thought, well, that's how it goes. That's how everyone learns.
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You can't brace yourself for famine if you've never known hunger.
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It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.
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Now I don't drink, and I get up in the morning and I write in my diary, and I can write in my diary for hours if I feel like it. And I'm still sober so I can write the stories that I'm working on, and I can sit at the desk as long as I need to. So that changed a lot, I think.
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If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
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The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
David Sedaris
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Weird doors open. People fall into things.
David Sedaris
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At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
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Most movies, I forget about them while I'm watching them. I go every single day. But I've never thought about participating in any way. It's like being at home all day. It was never a goal to me.
David Sedaris