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but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Considered
Business
Enough
Mind
Accomplishment
Lazy
Staying
Awake

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I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
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It's safe to assume that by 2085 guns will be sold in vending machines but you won't be able to smoke anywhere in America.
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It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit but not that much. But some old white people, and there aren't even that many, they put bonnets on, and then they control the news.
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Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
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The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
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It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
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I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.
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Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
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I've often lost faith in myself, I've never lost it in my family.
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As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.
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I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
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Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.
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There is a reason there is no such thing as a folk writer. But to be a writer you have learn what it takes to captivate a reader in order to make them turn the page. And in order to learn that, you have to read.
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I'm not afraid to write about madness. I always figure that whatever most embarrasses you is something that everyone can relate to, really...because we're just not that different. So if you think, 'Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I can't possibly talk about that,' and you write about it, the audience is gonna be like, 'that happened to me!
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
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If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.
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