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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Bring
Rabbit
Rabbits
Easter
Chocolate

More quotes by David Sedaris

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I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you would have no idea what it is that I've actually ever done.
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Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
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Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.
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Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.
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And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.
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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
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It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.
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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.
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Of course, the diary helps me as well. 'That wasn't your position on July 7, 1991,' I'll remind Hugh an hour after we've had a fight. I'd have loved to rebut him sooner, but it takes awhile to look these things up.
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In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use that right.
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Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
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Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
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A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
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The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
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I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.
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It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
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Maybe one day, I would write a story about arguing in public, and those would come in handy in some way.
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