Quote

The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, I want to love, I want to live.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Combination
Miracle
Telling
Keep
Ammonia
Live
Lethal
Work
Cleaning
Long
Miracles
Love
Discovered

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
David Sedaris
Image
I don't like travelling if I know I have to write about it.
David Sedaris
Image
In the beginning, I was put off by the harshness of German. Someone would order a piece of cake, and it sounded as if it were an actual order, like, Cut the cake and lie facedown in that ditch between the cobbler and the little girl.
David Sedaris
Image
This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.
David Sedaris
Image
I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.
David Sedaris
Image
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
David Sedaris
Image
Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
David Sedaris
Image
In Japanese and Italian, the response to [How are you?] is I'm fine, and you? In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by Not so good.
David Sedaris
Image
Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.
David Sedaris
Image
I always used to reach for the cigarette when the phone rang, and I figured nobody would ever call me in Tokyo. The time difference is so profound it's, like, already September in Tokyo, and I figured nobody would be able to work it out.
David Sedaris
Image
The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
David Sedaris
Image
He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.
David Sedaris
Image
Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
David Sedaris
Image
It didn't seem fair to me that Jon Stewart's rally didn't get the same kind of attention that Glenn Beck's did. Why was Beck's seen as checking the thermometer of the country, and Jon Stewart just dismissed as a satirist?
David Sedaris
Image
I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.
David Sedaris
Image
I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life that I don't write about. If I need to write that stuff down, I write about myself in my diary.
David Sedaris
Image
It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit but not that much. But some old white people, and there aren't even that many, they put bonnets on, and then they control the news.
David Sedaris
Image
A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.
David Sedaris
Image
At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
David Sedaris
Image
I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
David Sedaris