Quote

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Made
Compliments
Immune
Compliment
Lying

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
David Sedaris
Image
Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
David Sedaris
Image
If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
David Sedaris
Image
It was the look you get when facing a sudden and insurmountable danger: the errant truck, the shaky ladder, the crazy person who pins you to the linoleum and insists, with increasing urgency, that everything you know and love can be undone by a grape.
David Sedaris
Image
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
David Sedaris
Image
It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments. A bow tie announces to the world you can no longer get an erection.
David Sedaris
Image
He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.
David Sedaris
Image
I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
David Sedaris
Image
I sometimes read books on my iPad.
David Sedaris
Image
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
David Sedaris
Image
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
Image
I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.
David Sedaris
Image
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
David Sedaris
Image
I would be writing and trying to write like Joan Didion. Or if I was reading Raymond Carver. You know, strong stylists. But that's how you find your voice, is imitating other people. So things like that didn't embarrass me, because I thought, well, that's how it goes. That's how everyone learns.
David Sedaris
Image
I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
David Sedaris
Image
It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
David Sedaris
Image
If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
David Sedaris
Image
whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.
David Sedaris
Image
Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you’ve come to mow its lawns.
David Sedaris
Image
The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention
David Sedaris