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People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Often
Another
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Harsher
People
Critic
Frightened
Paris
Critics
American
More quotes by David Sedaris
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
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A history of listening to Top 40 radio had left me with a ridiculous and clichéd notion of love. I had never entertained the feeling myself but knew that it meant never having to say you're sorry. It was a many-splendored thing. Love was a rose and a hammer. Both blind and all-seeing, it made the world go round.
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I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
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The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing someone else stopped me completely.
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When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
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All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
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It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments. A bow tie announces to the world you can no longer get an erection.
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Whenever I write about my family, I start by getting my parent`s approval. I like to think I write about them with obvious affection. When it comes to the people I'm related to, I consider myself to be very lucky.
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The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
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It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit but not that much. But some old white people, and there aren't even that many, they put bonnets on, and then they control the news.
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No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
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If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
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Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
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You really burden the reader if you put things in but, Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway. Then the reader's going to think, like, Mmm... no thanks. So the thing is to cut all that stuff out before its published.
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My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
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This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.
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Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
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