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At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Write
Anything
Firsts
Typeface
First
Typefaces
Writing
Yorker
Would
Scary
Couldn
Imagine

More quotes by David Sedaris

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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.
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Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.
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Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
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If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
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The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing someone else stopped me completely.
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Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.
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I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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I've often lost faith in myself, I've never lost it in my family.
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It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.
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I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.
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I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.
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I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.
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What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks? Trains don't normally sneak up on people. Unless they've derailed, you pretty much know where to find them.
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A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
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All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
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The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make your dress, and do the flowers and the catering. They've toiled in the wedding industry all these years but were never allowed to do it themselves.
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In Japanese and Italian, the response to [How are you?] is I'm fine, and you? In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by Not so good.
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The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in the room and think about shooting myself in the head.
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If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
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