Quote

To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Turns
Capture
Left
Naked
Long
Spend
Men
Turn
Life
Bits
Claude
Days
Buttocks
Company
Playful
Quality
Jean

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I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call understanding is basically just fantasizing.
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Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.
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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
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And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.
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The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
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My sister's the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline...Everything is dangerous all of the time, and if it's not yet been pulled off the shelves, then it's certainly under investigation -- so there.
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I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.
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I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
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High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
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It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.
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God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He rewarding me? Did He actively watch me or take me for granted like a fish you don't notice until it's floating on the surface of the tank?
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Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth.
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If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
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I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
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People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
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Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
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