Quote

It was the look you get when facing a sudden and insurmountable danger: the errant truck, the shaky ladder, the crazy person who pins you to the linoleum and insists, with increasing urgency, that everything you know and love can be undone by a grape.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Look
Truck
Insurmountable
Everything
Facing
Insists
Looks
Increasing
Ladder
Love
Sudden
Grapes
Danger
Ladders
Linoleum
Crazy
Pins
Errant
Persons
Urgency
Shaky
Person
Undone
Grape

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He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.
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I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.
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I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
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I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call understanding is basically just fantasizing.
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All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.
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I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
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My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I didn't do, which only makes me look more suspect.
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I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.
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When I taught, a lot of my students weren't big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought it belonged in a book. Like, they didn't know what the inside of a book looked like, you know what I mean?
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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We can't profess love without talking through hand puppets.
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If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.
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... [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naïve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross.
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