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And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Grow
Pests
Dead
Progressively
Grows
Hugh
Came
Carrier
Upon
Gandhi
Feasted
Would
Remind
Silverware
Dance
Carriers
Disease
Indoors
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The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
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Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
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Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
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If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
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I tend to write things seven times before I show them to my editor. I write them seven times, then I take them on tour, read them like a dozen times on tour, then go back to the room and rewrite, read and rewrite... I would never show him a first draft, because then he's really going to be sick of it by the twelfth draft.
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There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And I had broken up with somebody. And I was, you know, really upset and depressed. And so that was, you know, reasons to keep going.
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I gave my mother a matching set [of mugs] for Christmas, and she accepted them as graciously as possible, announcing that they would make the perfect pet bowls. The mugs were set on the kitchen floor and remained there until the cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike.
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Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.
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It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.
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Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
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Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.
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After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
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there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.
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If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.
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