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And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.
David Sedaris
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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Dance
Carriers
Disease
Indoors
Grow
Pests
Dead
Progressively
Grows
Hugh
Came
Carrier
Upon
Gandhi
Feasted
Would
Remind
Silverware
More quotes by David Sedaris
I don't like to read anything on the radio for the very first time, because I don't have any notion of a reaction. When I read it out loud, then I get an idea of that, and more of an idea of how to read.
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No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
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I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
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I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life that I don't write about. If I need to write that stuff down, I write about myself in my diary.
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The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make your dress, and do the flowers and the catering. They've toiled in the wedding industry all these years but were never allowed to do it themselves.
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Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
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A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
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As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
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It didn't seem fair to me that Jon Stewart's rally didn't get the same kind of attention that Glenn Beck's did. Why was Beck's seen as checking the thermometer of the country, and Jon Stewart just dismissed as a satirist?
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At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
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I don't like travelling if I know I have to write about it.
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People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.
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I've often lost faith in myself, I've never lost it in my family.
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They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
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I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
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I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.
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Hugh consoled me, saying, Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at. When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think.
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Sometimes you read something and it's just -- it doesn't invite a reader....Sometimes you read something and it's not saying, 'oh come in, come in have a seat. I'm going to tell you what happened.' Perhaps my writing comes off as conversational...and that takes effort.
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What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
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Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
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