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Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.

David Sedaris

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David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Wishes
North
Hot
Anyway
Dog
South
Carolina
Free
Swing
Wish
Swings

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Whenever I write about my family, I start by getting my parent`s approval. I like to think I write about them with obvious affection. When it comes to the people I'm related to, I consider myself to be very lucky.
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The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
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Art isn't about following the rules. It's about breaking them.
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I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.
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I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.
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I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
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The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
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I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.
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It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.
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Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
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Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.
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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
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Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
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If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
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The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
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Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the understanding that, like Mom used to say, sooner or later something's gonna get you.
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In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use that right.
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The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention
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As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
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I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.
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