Quote

I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.

David Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Sedaris
Age: 67
Born: 1956
Born: December 26
Comedian
Essayist
Humorist
Writer
Binghamton
New York
David Raymond Sedaris
Yorker
Reporter
Reporters
Treats
Everyone
Like

More quotes by David Sedaris

Image
What can you say about the family who is suing the railroad after their drunk son was killed walking on the tracks? Trains don't normally sneak up on people. Unless they've derailed, you pretty much know where to find them.
David Sedaris
Image
My sister's the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline...Everything is dangerous all of the time, and if it's not yet been pulled off the shelves, then it's certainly under investigation -- so there.
David Sedaris
Image
The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.
David Sedaris
Image
Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.
David Sedaris
Image
As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
David Sedaris
Image
I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.
David Sedaris
Image
I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.
David Sedaris
Image
I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you would have no idea what it is that I've actually ever done.
David Sedaris
Image
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.
David Sedaris
Image
If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
David Sedaris
Image
A lot of people don't know what they want, you know, or they're just kind of vague about it.
David Sedaris
Image
Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
David Sedaris
Image
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
David Sedaris
Image
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
David Sedaris
Image
I'm not afraid to write about madness. I always figure that whatever most embarrasses you is something that everyone can relate to, really...because we're just not that different. So if you think, 'Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I can't possibly talk about that,' and you write about it, the audience is gonna be like, 'that happened to me!
David Sedaris
Image
Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love.
David Sedaris
Image
I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
David Sedaris
Image
I always used to reach for the cigarette when the phone rang, and I figured nobody would ever call me in Tokyo. The time difference is so profound it's, like, already September in Tokyo, and I figured nobody would be able to work it out.
David Sedaris
Image
Now I don't drink, and I get up in the morning and I write in my diary, and I can write in my diary for hours if I feel like it. And I'm still sober so I can write the stories that I'm working on, and I can sit at the desk as long as I need to. So that changed a lot, I think.
David Sedaris
Image
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
David Sedaris